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About Varied / Hobbyist Benjamin SYHMale/Singapore Recent Activity
Deviant for 9 Years
Needs Core Membership
Statistics 232 Deviations 3,048 Comments 18,546 Pageviews

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  • Mood: Distressed
  • Listening to: Jessie J
  • Reading: Hunger Games Trilogy
Using this to push down the previous entry because it kept flashing my old avatar and it's annoying.

Ta's been almost 6 years since I've joined dA, 7 since I've discovered it. Hoo.

I realise that unlike many of the artsy people I know who criticise dA for being a shallow, somewhat horrid place for "art", I've stuck to my guns and continued to lurk here. Perhaps it has something to do with personal beliefs about what art is, and what art constitutes. Did I just repeat myself?

Over the years I have developed much in ways of thinking. But with regards to the things I really want to do: I realise that I haven't really pursued or tried hard enough. Drawing: I haven't really drawn. Writing: I keep putting it off. Composing: I never think I'm good enough to write stuff down. Where did this mentality come from?

Perhaps that was why my A level piece was such a disaster when my teacher said I should just go headlong into it. I just trusted my gut, didn't ask for help, and in the end it almost ended in a catastrophe. Of course, in conceptual art everything can be metaphorically justified, just that I never really did make the metaphor clear in the first place (to the examiners), which worries me.

But what is stopping me? Is it because I search too much for perfection in the first time I do things? Is it because I don't allow myself concessions? Gosh, this sounds really selfish, imma stop typing now, not that anyone is going to care.

Looking at my photos then and now... nothing has changed, really. It's starting to upset me, as if nothing I do really is enough.

I'll be going into the military in about a week and a half's time. Perhaps it would be a good time to learn discipline and learn how not to give up, how to pursue something endlessly and just take things in your stride. I'm excited and afraid all at once.

Crossing fingers.

Journal History


Benjamin SYH
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Life is a lie.

I draw simple motifs, take photographs (albeit simple with framing and only basic technicalities to be aided with), and pursue the occasional odd artistry for the sake of variety.

I wish to compose an orchestral piece, a choral piece on the theme of Final Fantasy, sing Liberi Fatali, discover a commercially viable solution for gene theraphy, and to intern at Square Enix.

And to learn to draw.

Graduated from school, hardening self in the military.

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Add a Comment:
xTive Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2013
thank youuu :heart:
Menoevil Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012   Photographer
Thank you!
KiwiChameleon Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012   General Artist
Thank you so much for the fav! :glomp:
Elgaris Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav:s! :D
Axysses Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Menoevil Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2012   Photographer
Thank you for the fav! (:
Axysses Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Menoevil Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012   Photographer
AffirmativeSelf Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012
Thank you so much for adding my artwork to you favs ^.^
Axysses Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
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